So my best friend returned from Vietnam last night and got me some cute stuff... in fact, she got me quite a bit of ... stuff, and uhm, ahahah I'm very grateful she did :D. I could never get enough of stuffie and while she was giving all these things at my other friend's house last night, he kept on laughing as though he got things in his throat. It was when I realized man, I really miss her, ehhehe... it was her presence that made me the happiest. I'm not sure how it's suppose to be since I've got somewhat of a cold personality and it's always hard for me to make friends and warm up to people, but once I do, I feel a great attachment or connection. And to realize that the last few weeks to me had been so dreary and bleak and lonely. However, she'll be moving again soon and it seems like it's gonna be where she'll be happier than here. It makes me feel useless and very sad actually, that I couldn't make her happier as my friend... I'm not sure how I can express these feelings though... that once away, she'll forget all about me and get on with her new life with new sets of people and I will be noone but a mere memory. That thought alone makes me somewhat depressed. I've already lost one friend that I truly treasure due to a mistake on my part, and until now when I look back I still cannot help but feel a great regret weighing down my heart... Sometimes I wish I'm more vulnerable and take more initiative, maybe, maybe then I won't appear to be so hard to approach, then I would allow people to come into my life easier. Sometimes I wish my life would be like in those dramas where friendship strikes in the most unusual circumstance and we'd hit it off really fast and become the best of buddies for a long time. You know, often I think how it's so unfair some people make new relationships so easily while others can't, how someone would lose a relationship and go on starting a new one and get really intimate while some find it a difficult task to have that kind of quality relationship again with another person. I'm more of the latter. Guess I expect too much out of the others and often get disappointed and in a sense, not feeling much attachment to the current relationship I have. Seriously, i don't understand what i want either... hence I don't give out as much... could be because i'm scared... fear of intimacy maybe... if there's such a fear in this world. A lot of time I don't know why I try so hard to understand myself and the people around me, don't you think those things can weigh a person down??? Ahh, too much sentimental stuff hihih... but I took a picture, so hehe :D
So below is my manga purchase for the first two months of this year... and I kept on wondering where my money went when I don't even go shopping -___-;; Here it's missing After School Nightmare volume 5 since DeepDiscount doesn't have it in stock T___T... Aww, and I was looking forward to reading that one the most. I already read 12 days, tramps like us and Orange and well.. I love how Tramps like Us ended, as for the other two, they're just short stories and I still don't know even now how I feel towards them. One thing though, Orange's artwork is gorgeous and absolutely breathtaking!!! The whole graphic novel is in color, isn't that so neat? The original price is $15 but I got it cheaper for 11 bucks on Amazon. Benjamin is an amazing author, I <333 his arts. And I'm very exciting to read Solanin because I love the artwork and the synopsis so far :D. Flight vol 5 is just a must since I enjoyed the other 4 volumes.
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