Running away... God, please lead me to you.

LEAD ME TO THE CROSS
By: Hillsongs



To be honest, I'm feeling very down lately. It's that feeling of emptiness like nothing is worth looking forward to anymore, like all the hopes within me is drained away, leaving my soul wrecked and dying...

I'm being closer to God now than I was ever before however. It feels like I've been running away and closing myself off from the face of the earth, at least for this whole week... but God is showing me that what I've been doing will only add to my pile of agony.
... that I'm a coward.

It's gonna be so difficult and I'm very scared. Almost my whole life I've been running away when faced with a challenge or difficult situation. I'd rather give up... but this habit is hurting me so bad lately that I just can't bear it anymore.

I'm going to face my fear today. Please, God help me reach your heart. Amen.

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Another horrible attempt at watercolor -____-;;;a... Hm... what was i thinking... well, i'm not so sure since I'm sick today and trying to get over my serious stress/borderline depression. Guess it does say something about the state of my mind right now huh, lol.

A quiet week... & some manga reviews.

I'm not really in the mood for lengthy talks, I still want to briefly cover a few manga titles that I read and love recently. It might not seem like it, but I absolutely adore manga, especially those that deal with unusual subjects and dare to challenge readers' perspectives, not being afraid to get real and brutally honest. That is not to say that I just read everything and anything weird just for the sake of it... because until now I still completely behold this grudge against unnecessary gory and graphic manga. However, unusual art styles do attract me quite often, especially when it stays consistent throughout. Anyways, let's move on to the more important thing: the manga :D. What titles do I have high respect and love for so far... this list is in no particular order since I usually don't rank my manga much; though I tend to have a top 5.

Tramps like us



This is such a wonderful josei manga (josei is a term used for manga that targets older females like those in college and above). The premise might put some readers off however, I was one of them in the beginning. The story talks about Sumire, and beautiful and intelligent working woman who seems to have it all: from looks to brain. However, since she's so smart and beautiful, other people feel intimidated and envious of her and keep a distance from Sumire. At her workplace she faces discriminations even when her works are always done perfectly and topnotch, just because she's a female in a place stocked with male workers who don't like having a woman standing above them (literally and metaphorically, darn she's always shown half a head taller than most men, :D). So, even though from an outsider's point of view, Sumire is the lucky one who shouldn't have any worries at all... but in reality, away from her workplace, she converts into a lonely lady with low-self-esteem. One day, she happens to find a beaten guy outside her door and took him in. He doesn't want to leave, so she suggests to keep him as a pet and calls him Momo (the name of her dead dog). So there you go... from then on, the two of them stay under one roof, with one condition: the guy stays and acts like her pet dog: Momo. Sounds pretty sick huh. I knew of some people who were totally totally disgust by this manga. However, this manga doesn't focus on that pet-owner relationship for long... as we slowly see just how fragile and lonely Sumire is. She wants someone who care for her, but is too proud to admit it, hence the weird request. Read it if you want something a little more mature than the usual Sailormoon-ish soap opera romance.


Nodame Cantabile



I knew nothing of this manga beforehand. It wasn't even popular online as scanlations, nobody talked about it at all. So one day, I walked into Barns & Nobles and habitually browsed the graphic novels aisle and stumbled upon this one, thanks to its unique drawing style!!! (See, artstyles do help :D!). Upon reading the first volume, I fell in love instantly from the very first few pages!! It was just soo... different and carefree, and I love the subject matter: classical music. The first volume was one hell of a hilarity ride... never had I read something so silly like this and enjoyed it so much. It must have been the carefree attitude the author put into it that makes everything about this manga a breath of fresh air, so refreshing and bursting of energy! Read it, read it!!!


Moon Child



Hm... this is an older manga and is very... weird. I couldn't help but be drawn to its story, however. Let me dig up a synopsis (I can't think of doing it myself, since until now after 7 vols I'm still pretty much clueless, hahaha...):

According to prophecy, the daughter of the greatest traitor of mer-people, Seira, and her human husband, will either bring an end to the feud between humanity and the mer-people or bring about the destruction of all life on Earth. When the mer-man named Shona, who has seen the daughter of Seira many times in his dreams, comes to Earth to find her, he meets a young boy, Jimmy, suffering from amnesia. As Shona continues his search for the girl, he finds out that the mystery of Jimmy's identity might be the cause of Earth's destruction...

So... what do I like so much about it? Because it's just sooo... strange. You see this place that resembles earth, but at the same time so far removed from it. You see these people living as people but underneath that facade have another self. You get gender confusion, predestined love, hatred, and tons more and just have no clues where things will lead. This manga is a work of art, in my opinion. I don't care if it seems directionless sometimes, or just so... out there, I enjoyed it tremendously. Or perhaps, I'm just a romantic who likes to be emerged into an enchanted supernatural oasis, lets myself be moved around just as long as I get that feed of foreign stuff. I know... it's kinda sad, hahaa... but hey, let me tell you... it's a true joy :D.

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Well, that's it for now. It's getting so late, so I will be talking more about manga in another post when I'm not so constricted with time. By the way, all those titles are available in English so if you're interested, take a look at them at the bookstore or library. Ja ne!!!!

Back to school... and hard at work.

School started again for me last week. I have 5 classes, and each one is around 3 hours long. On Tuesday and Thursday, I'm in school from 8 am to 5 pm, going through all 3 studio classes that last around 3 hours each -__-; It's a bit overwhelming and tiring, but I've set my mind to do the best I can for everyone of them. I'm amazed at myself.... since I'd never been this serious about school before. My classes are as below:

Monday: Adv. Drawing (8:30-11:20)
Tuesday - Thursday: Sculpture (8-10:50), Design Studio (11-1:50), Printmaking (2-4:50)
Wednesday: Adv. Drawing (8:30-11:20), History of Prints (2:30-4:50)

Thank god I don't have class on Friday, but then it's time for me to work, same on Saturday... and on Sunday, I've got to be practicing with my church youth group :).

The picture above is one that doodled in my sketchbook, photographed and transfered it to Photoshop to do a little clean-up before I started water-coloring it in Painter and then brought it back to Photoshop to do the final touch-up with colors and everything. I've never drawn using watercolor before, believe it or not so the result was quite... dismal. However, I've been sketching more and am getting more comfortable now. Good thing comes with practice... I realized this kinda late, but it's late then never, right ^^? I wish everyone a blessed week!!

My trip to Cali ^^

Below are some pictures from my trip to Anaheim, California. We were there for 6 days from 12/25 to 12/30 of 2008, but I still felt that it was not enough time :D. If it was possible we'd have waited to join New Year there before flying back home. Nevertheless, it was a very fun trip, and if we could visit it again, will probably take more pictures since we won't be running around trying to get on all the rides. The schedule went something like this: on the 25th, we joined Chi's cousin for a Christmas party after we landed in Anaheim that late afternoon; the 26th, we were at Universal Studio; the 27th, Disneyland :D; the 28th, Knot's Berry Farm; the 29th, shopping time at Phuoc Loc Tho, Korean town, etc.; the 30th, time to go home T__T; So we actually didn't have time to go to LA or Long Beach to visit Queen Mary ship; and my plans to visit the Art Museum and French bakery shops couldn't be met either; but my brother had sometime to visit one of his old highschool friends in Vietnam: Nghiem. Still, it was amazing :D, especially our time in Disneyland ^^v.

That's it for this post. Ja ne!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I realized I did not write in this blog for a little over a week already. It's not that I had given up or abandoned writing once again like I did several times in the past... it's just that life can get in the way sometimes with me getting ready for Christmas and traveling to California for a week. How was everyone's Christmas and New Year? Mine was very blessed, fun and warm, being with my family and friends. With this new year coming, I hope for so much more in my life, but my biggest hope is that I will become a person worthy of God's love and those around me, a person who recognizes one's worth and value and lives for others. I sincerely wish your new year shall be bright, jolly and successful :).

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!!!!