... reflection ...

Quiet Thursday morning...

Listening to a dear old friend's piano playing, and suddenly I couldn't stop the tears from rolling.

Though they aren't tears of self-pity or of sudden emotional grip from such an inspiring piece of music... but of that realization of how horrible I must have been to the people around me came to me in full force.

I was so wrapped up within my own self, I lost tracks of all the close people around me, of their struggles, their needs for support, and even their happiness.

Solitude is something that I embrace... though with this solitude came an ignorance that seems disgusting now. For the past several years I repeated burdened my sister with occasional tantrum and breakdowns at how much I pity my own life, with its lack of true friendship and excitement. Now that I think about it, I'm the one to blame. I'm really sorry sister, for only venting my 'own' frustration, totally ignoring your emotional distress living alone far away from the family. I carried on with friendship and hid away my true self, only to complained later of how 'abandoned' I felt by not having enough attention and care, though truly have I cared enough for someone to receive the same kind of love back? I don't give but expect to receive all the time.

It's truly unhealthy to live a life knowing of only me, me and me.

Now is really a time to change.

P.S: For everyone that actually cares to read and follows my little blog, thank you very much.